On hold for a while

Well, it happened, despite my best intentions and reminders every day in my calendar, I let my blog entries lapse. It didn't mean I didn't think about them EVERY day, and move around the time slots I had allocated to write, to some other time, and yet, I just somehow didn't get here. I have had lots of ideas, jotted down notes, written them in my head and yet my fingers didn't reach the keyboard.

So, rather than continue to beat myself up about what I am clearly NOT doing, I thought it wise to declare that I am putting this blog on hold for the summer. I have much to say on how I have been shaping my reality and perhaps ideas on how you can shape yours. By making this declaration I am wanting to be responsible for my 'disappearance' - at least for the next few months. I am going to be taking care of matters 'behind the scenes' and I hope, from the bottom of my heart that this gives me the room to launch fully back into writing on this blog 5 days a week. I hope it strengths my resolve, creates clarity in my mind and brings me back to the joy of writing and sharing. Even as I write this, I know it to be true.

May you have a summer that reflects where you are, and what you need, at this moment in time.

I look forward to reconnecting soon.

Warmly,

Catherine

Friday's Quote

See if you can give more attention to the action, rather than the result that you want to achieve through it.  Give your fullest attention to whatever the moment presents.  This implies that you also completely accept what is, because you cannot give your full attention to something and at the same time resist it.

~ Unknown

Conversations that matter

I have always struggled with small talk.  

I love big groups, and large parties, and will easily dance the night away.  But, once in a while, when I meet someone who to me, is unique, interesting or intriguing, I don't want to talk about superficial things.  I want to delve into what makes them tick. What are their dreams?  What is the best thing that has ever happened to them, and where do they struggle?  Of course, this is not appropriate party conversation.  Then again, I really don't care about the weather, or what celebrities are up to.  Sure, I'll engage in those conversations once in a while, but at my core, they aren't fulfilling.  Of course, I don't want every conversation I have to be deep and meaningful, I too have a playful side.  I just notice how I will go to 'appropriate party conversations' rather than what I would far rather talk about.

At some level, I admire people who are good at small talk.  It means, I guess, that they are rarely uncomfortable in new situations.  That being said, I am not uncomfortable in new situations, I love them.  However, sometimes I want to jump to the 'good stuff' before people have had a chance to get to know me.

I remember a friend telling me about how charismatic President Clinton is and how he makes everyone he meets feel special.  I like that idea.  I am not sure how to do it, and I certainly wouldn't want to come off as fake, but I certainly like the idea.  I think she said he takes a genuine interest in what people do.  I do too, but at times I feel at a loss as to the appropriate question to ask them to open them up and learn about them.

One thing if for sure, I am most interested in having conversations that really matter.  How about you?

Friday's Quote

Finish each day and be done with it.  You have done what you could.  Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can.  Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Capturing a life story

My husband's grandfather came to stay during Thanksgiving 2008.  We had given him a book for Christmas 2007, that he could use to document his life.  I didn't realize at the time that is was 300 pages long (because I ordered it off the internet and had it sent directly to him).  He was totally overwhelmed by it and hadn't even begun it when he came to stay with us.

I had bought it for two reasons.  Firstly, because I believe it is important to document our ancestors' histories, or it is forever lost.  And secondly, he had seemed so animated in the past whenever he had talked about his childhood - growing up in rural Georgia - or his life on a submarine.

So, while my husband had to work each day, his grandfather and I would sit for at least 2 hours a day and I would ask him the questions and then write his responses as he thoughtfully answered  - sometimes with amusement and occasionally with  a twinge of sadness.  

While I really enjoyed doing it, and I know my husband will treasure it long after his grandfather is gone, I too felt a twinge of sadness, but mine was for my own lost opportunity.  All my grandparents are gone now and I so wish that I had made the time to document each of their lives.  I was too busy, living my life and running around in my 20's to really make time for them.  I think I falsely believed that they would be around forever, or that their memories would last, and we could do it any old time.  Hindsight can sometimes be painful.  Oh how I wish I had done things differently.  What I wouldn't give for a day with my maternal grandmother now.  To hold her lovely hands and photograph them so that I never forget what they look like.  It is the small details that I miss the most.  The smell of her powder, the sound of her laughter - I wish I had video-taped her, no matter how uncomfortable it might have made her feel, I would love to have a tangible copy of her voice, now that she is gone.  I wouldn't care if it was a copy of the most boring conversation, just to have that, would be priceless.

So, like I ask my coaching clients, what can I learn from this, given I can't turn back the clock?  It is time to start documenting my parents lives. Don't wait or hesitate.  Take the opportunities while the opportunities are still around.

Each of us has a life story to tell.  Whether there is anyone here to listen or care, is irrelevant.  You are important and your time on this planet made a difference.  Share only the highlights if that is all you have time for.  Tape yourself, record your voice, share your hopes and dreams, because while your loved ones may not appreciate it now, someday it might just be the most important item they own - capture it.

Skype

Have I mentioned I LOVE technology??  

My latest favorite thing is Skype.  Friends told me about it ages ago, and I was slow to jump on the bandwagon, but now that I have it, I am totally IN!

My mom lives in New Zealand, and she recently bought a new Apple MacBook (LOVE IT!) I set her up with a Skype account before it left for NZ and so she and I have been Skyping over the past couple of months.  While I don't mind talking on the phone, being able to see her while we talk is 100 times better.  Recently, I have been helping her with questions she has about how to use her new and very sexy (yes, sexy!) laptop.  She can minimize me on the screen and still hear my voice as I talk her through how to set up her email system, address book etc.  And I can walk around our house with my laptop in hand and show her new pieces of furniture, our fruit trees that I pruned myself, etc.  It feels like we are more in each others lives, just by being able to see each other every week or so.

Thank goodness for clever people who invent technology that really does make our lives so much better.  You people are the BEST!  I am forever grateful! Thanks!

Friday's Quote

It is advisable that a person knows at least three things:

Where they are, where they are going and what they had best do under the circumstances.

~ John Ruskin