I am not sure if it is the perfectionist in me that got confronted once I actually began and left me feeling like I had to write the 'right' thing...only darn, what is the right thing?? Or, if I got embarrassed about sharing myself out in the public domain, either way, this blog didn't happen. The old me would have ridiculed myself until I wanted to hide in a hole, but the 'recovering' perfectionist in me says "oh well, that didn't go as planned, but I have the opportunity to honor my commitment from here on out" - and I'm choosing the latter.
Perhaps it is easier to choose the latter given very few people even know this blog exists at this juncture. It is a point of embarrassment though, and perhaps will be in the future too, that nearly 3 weeks went by and I have written nothing. It doesn't mean I have thought about writing and even constructed blogs in my head, but it doesn't count unless I actually sit down and put my fingers on the keyboard. Still, I am sure I have done far worse, and embarrassed myself in far greater ways than not updating my blog!
However, I do want to make a commitment to myself, and to whomever comes across this blog in the future, that I really do want to write something, no matter how long or short, 5 days a week. This is for me and I can't be worried about what others (like you) might think of me. I have to do this for me, this is part of the way that I am choosing to shape my reality.
Best,
Catherine
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