What makes you come alive?

Don't ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive.  Then go do it.  What the world needs is people who come alive.

~ Howard Thurman

You Can Heal Your Life

Today I took the time to watch Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life movie.  You can watch it streaming on the web for $4.95 at www.youcanhealyourlifemovie.com This is not something I would typically do during the 'work' day and yet, it feels very much in alignment with what I do and so I choose to make time for it this week.

I am a huge believer in our ability to use our minds to heal our bodies, and likewise to allow our minds to poison our bodies, so I really respect Louise's work.  

I enjoyed the movie and it was refreshing to be reminded that I am not the only one who walks around with hundreds of comments, opinions or thoughts going on constantly in my head.  I intend to buy the DVD and watch it over and over again as I know I will pick up a little something different each time.  

Louise was a pioneer for her time, and thank goodness for people like her who trust their instincts - even when there may not have been 'evidence' around to support their ideas, she knew she was on to something and she stuck with it.

Are you a pioneer?  

If so, here's to living boldly in the world...

Catherine

Being Real Part II

After publishing my blog yesterday and walking away from my laptop, I started to think further about this 'being real' idea.  It turns out for the most part, I don't have a problem being real, truthful, straight up, and perhaps even at times... bordering on rude, (although I am embarrassed to admit that), to service people. I do have a much harder time being that way with friends or people I care about.  

I seem to be filled with inconsistencies. If a barista at Starbucks doesn't make my drink correctly, I will likely mention it and thankfully, they always offer to correct it.  If this occurred at a mom-and-pop coffee shop, I might be less likely to say something, but then I wouldn't go back again.  If I am really irked by something I will call or email the company to try and get the situation rectified. If I am in a hair salon and I hate what they are doing, I sit there likely a stunned mullet and keep my mouth shut, promising myself as I leave, to never return.  Only once have I ever called a salon back to say that I was unhappy and went back in the next day to have them fix the situation, but that was mainly because I was on my way to my brother's wedding and knew that the photos would capture my terrible hair dilemma forever.  

I do believe I have narrowed down my problem with telling the truth to hair stylists to this... I think of my hair as their 'work of art' and I don't like to criticize their work.  The obvious flaw in this explanation is that then I have to walk around with their art (that I don't like) on my head, until it grows out.  I have no doubt that this does them a disservice, as much as the mom-and-pop coffee shops with drinks I don't like, but I don't like to hurt peoples' feelings so I keep my mouth shut.

On the other hand, if I have to engage with the problem by phone (ie my mortgage company needs proof of flood insurance and they change their address and don't let me know, but make me send the fax a second time because of their error), I have no problem telling them I am not pleased. 

But whether by phone or in person, when it comes to friends I feel FAR more uncomfortable addressing issues, imbalances or upsets.  The irony of course is that friends are the ones that I most want to spend time with and therefore where I want to have the most truthful and honest relationships.  I want that for them, so I guess I have to assume that they want the same for, and from, me.

I am a strong believer in leading by example, so I guess that means it is time for me to step up to the plate and tell the truth - be very real - in all areas of life, whether it is in person or by phone, in Starbucks or a mom-and-pop coffee store, to the hair stylist and to my best friends.  Let's call it an experiment, after all, I do know how the other side feels, I wonder what it is like to be totally real?

I am willing to give it a try, how about you?

Catherine

Being Real

There is something very brave about being real.  

By being real I mean, telling the truth - the good, the bad, the messy, the unpleasant, the embarrassing and the downright ugly.  I value being real in others and admire them for it, but I am still building my own muscle for being real.  However, I am quite often (pleasantly) amazed by the outcomes of being real.

I had an incident with a dear friend recently, where I let a few things pile up and then they boiled over - at least for me.  I know I should have said something sooner.  (Not to make excuses, but rather by way of an explanation, I was the child of a diplomat and so I was raised to be polite over being honest or real.  Sometimes this is perhaps a good thing, it keeps the water smooth, but most other times this does a major disservice to me and those close to me).  

The thing that made this most recent incident so much easier to be with, was the fact that I knew I had a good foundation with this friend.  She has seen me at my best, experienced my generosity and she knows I have been, and would be again, there for her in a heartbeat.  I knew that this was a bump on the road of our relationship.  Amongst the interchange over email there was that familiar reminder that email doesn't always give context or tone and one can be misunderstood or misunderstand another more easily, than if the conversation was occurring live, real time.  

However, I needed time to be mad.  And she generously allowed me to have that.  This is a new thing for me.  In the past I would have blurted out my upset/hurt feelings then immediately felt bad or embarrassed and apologized profusely and stuffed my own feelings down inside me to deal with another day.  To be able to be mad and stew for a couple of days, even though stewing felt weird and almost indulgent, was a real gift.  By the time I had spent a few hours in my own thoughts, I was more present to our deep friendship and less keen to continue holding her at an arm's distance.

When we talked today she was so kind and willing to look at what had happened that had allowed us to go off track. I felt so respected and humbled by her, that I was able to lean even further into, and trust that the foundation of our friendship would be able to get past this bump.  We haven't yet reached a resolution, and I am not sure one is even needed, but we are both clear that my upset is an opportunity for us to look at our relationship and perhaps find a way to enhance it even further.

I know that even though these types of conversations are often really uncomfortable for me, they do bring me to a new, and better, level with those I treasure.  The conversations might take a couple of iterations but they are always worth it in the end.

So, where are you willing to be real?

Here's to muscle building,

Catherine

My photo expedition

As part of the process of setting up this blog, the fabulous Cassandra Rae (who helped me create it), had me do some pre-work which included looking at blogs I liked, and sharing what appealed to me about them.  One of the consistent themes was their photographs, and so she set me a homework assignment to go on a Photo Expedition.  Admittedly, I had ideas of driving to Santa Cruz and photography the beach, or going to Atherton and capturing beautiful homes and gardens, but those would have to wait for another day, as today I only had time to wander around my own back yard and photograph what I saw.  It was nice to get outside though - it reminds me of how much time I spend inside and how I really do enjoy the time I spend out in the garden.

These are four of my favorite photographs, they each give me a sense of amazement about nature, pride because I grew them and/or nurtured them and a reminder that small amounts of effort can lead to beautiful rewards.  Here is what I saw...

..I have three different colored bougainvillea, but this is by far my favorite color.  Most other people like the more orange version, but there is something about this red that just makes me come smile at it's boldness.

This is a lettuce I grew from a hydroponic one that I bought at the grocery store, ate and then saved the core (is that the right term??) I watered it and put it in the sun inside until it started to get new leaves and then I planted it outside, and so far the squirrels, snails and birds all seem to have stayed away from it, so I can pick a few leaves for dinner next week.
Last year, I decided to follow my Dad's tradition and I grew my own tomatoes.  I grew a big red variety and a cherry tomato variety.  This year when I went to the garden store, they didn't have the same varieties in stock so on the recommendation of one of their gardeners I went with two new kinds.  While I don't love the flavors as much as last year, my little cherry tomato plant has produced prolifically and it is still going, here are two little ones ready to be picked and eaten...
And last, but definitely not least, my amazing lemon tree.  I can't stay I planted this one, but I have nurtured it over the last three years and it has responded in kindness.  I have a following with these lemons, so much so, that a friend sends boxes of them to her father in Virginia!  Others juice and drink them every morning.  My husband and I have enjoyed them in drinks, on food, zested, sliced, squeezed and diced, but perhaps our favorite was our very own version of a lemon drop straight from the tree.  I consider myself a guardian of this tree until we sell this house and the next owners take over.  It gives me tremendous pleasure and I look out of my office window at it every day. Here's to you, your garden and that amazing thing called nature!  

Enjoy!

Catherine

What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?

I saw this quote 'What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?' by Dr Robert Schuller at the bottom of a colleague's email today and it made me sigh in that lovely, fulfilled, contented kind of way.  

Hmmm....what would I do if I could not fail? Finish and publish my book, go on a book tour across the US, New Zealand, Australia, the UK and Europe, be invited to be a keynote speaker, and consult with companies over a period of time to increase the passion and productivity levels of their teams.  Yes, that is what I would do, I am not even sure I would 'attempt' it, I think I would just do it.  

The problem is, I don't like to do what everyone else is doing (and in my world it feels like every third person is writing a book, and they can't all be good, can they?) I want my book to be good, really good. The thing that gets me though is I see books on topics I KNOW I could have written, but someone has already beaten me to it.  I guess that is where procrastination and self doubt will get me, huh?  And of course, there are always those inner critics that say, 'well, what if your book isn't any good and you spend a ton of time on it, when you SHOULD be doing something else' plus there is that never ending To Do list that needs addressing.  So somehow, I just never give myself permission to sit down and finish writing it.

Even as I say this, it feels yucky.  Particularly as I am a coach, I really want to lead by example and live my reality in a way that is shaped by me, but most importantly that my reality fills me up with that yummy, delicious and most divine feeling of honoring what is right for me.

Sounds like it's time to start writing...

Here's to taking one action today in alignment with KNOWING you won't fail!

Catherine

Recovering Perfectionist

OK, so my best intentions of writing this blog 5 days a week, have gone astray! 

I am not sure if it is the perfectionist in me that got confronted once I actually began and left me feeling like I had to write the 'right' thing...only darn, what is the right thing??  Or, if I got embarrassed about sharing myself out in the public domain, either way, this blog didn't happen.  The old me would have ridiculed myself until I wanted to hide in a hole, but the 'recovering' perfectionist in me says "oh well, that didn't go as planned, but I have the opportunity to honor my commitment from here on out" - and I'm choosing the latter.

Perhaps it is easier to choose the latter given very few people even know this blog exists at this juncture.  It is a point of embarrassment though, and perhaps will be in the future too, that nearly 3 weeks went by and I have written nothing.  It doesn't mean I have thought about writing and even constructed blogs in my head, but it doesn't count unless I actually sit down and put my fingers on the keyboard.  Still, I am sure I have done far worse, and embarrassed myself in far greater ways than not updating my blog!  

However, I do want to make a commitment to myself, and to whomever comes across this blog in the future, that I really do want to write something, no matter how long or short, 5 days a week.  This is for me and I can't be worried about what others (like you) might think of me.  I have to do this for me, this is part of the way that I am choosing to shape my reality.

Best,

Catherine