Leaving 2008

I am still not quite myself, and so rather than 'force' myself to do things, I am laying low and doing other behind-the-scenes tasks that have been on my To Do list for ages.  It feels good to honor where I am at, and yet still be moving in a forward direction.  Much as I might not like it, life is often messy and unpredictable, and it is in those moments that I am tested - perhaps more than any other.  I also know, that there is great strength and lessons to be learnt in this place, so as I exit 2008 I feel humbled and vulnerable.  I know that this too shall pass, I just need to stay on this wave until it reaches the safety of the shore.

I hope that as you leave 2008 and enter 2009 that you are doing so in a way that respects where you are currently at in life.  There is value here.

Fondly,

Catherine

Back from an unintentional break

Hi

I am finally back.  

I don't know exactly what happened, but somewhere along the way, blogging went south and didn't return.  Some days I haven't thought about it at all, and have been surprised when days later I realize that I have forgotten it had become a regular part of my life, and didn't notice it when it was missing.  Other days I have thought 'I have to get back to it' and still other days, I just haven't had the energy or creative juices to write.  So, I've been gone for over a month.  

During that time there have been high points and definitely some low points.  I feel like I have been all over the emotional map - and in a completely unpredictable way.  I have just sat and read a whole bunch of my favorite blogs, as I have noticed that I haven't been making time to do that either.  I have a personal philosophy in this busy world 'put something good in every day' - what I mean by that is, read, do, participate, give or receive something that is good for my soul each day.  When I am tired, as I have been recently, this is especially true.  Ironically, this is not what I have done.  Instead, I have read the news (90%+ of which is depressing or awful), read trashy, gossipy columns on the internet or been too busy running around to take the time to give myself the gift of 'something good' and so I have suffered.  My well feels dry and I am not totally sure how to replenish it.  One thing is for sure, having read the blogs and been inspired by others' journeys, I feel some lightness and hope again.

Today, I feel compelled to write.  I am not sure what it is that I want to say, but I know that there is something inside of me wanting to come out.  It might be uncovered during this blog, or perhaps I will go and pick up one of my journals and write until I discover what is bothering me.  The funny thing is, I don't like writing 'negative' stuff in my beautiful journals - how ridiculous is that??  I know I am struggling right now, and once I distinguish what it is, I know I will release some of the stranglehold it has on me.  I also know, that when I am tired I have a propensity to suffer a lot longer than is helpful..some weird form of self torture, that is neither useful nor inspiring.

So, while I had grand plans to catch up on work, follow-up with networking contacts, plow through some of the items on my To Do list, I have done none of that.  My heart needs taking care of and right now that is the most important thing for me.  All the rest will come in time.

If your heart is needing some love and attention right now, take the time, I know from experience, it will be worth it.