Leaving 2008

I am still not quite myself, and so rather than 'force' myself to do things, I am laying low and doing other behind-the-scenes tasks that have been on my To Do list for ages.  It feels good to honor where I am at, and yet still be moving in a forward direction.  Much as I might not like it, life is often messy and unpredictable, and it is in those moments that I am tested - perhaps more than any other.  I also know, that there is great strength and lessons to be learnt in this place, so as I exit 2008 I feel humbled and vulnerable.  I know that this too shall pass, I just need to stay on this wave until it reaches the safety of the shore.

I hope that as you leave 2008 and enter 2009 that you are doing so in a way that respects where you are currently at in life.  There is value here.

Fondly,

Catherine

Back from an unintentional break

Hi

I am finally back.  

I don't know exactly what happened, but somewhere along the way, blogging went south and didn't return.  Some days I haven't thought about it at all, and have been surprised when days later I realize that I have forgotten it had become a regular part of my life, and didn't notice it when it was missing.  Other days I have thought 'I have to get back to it' and still other days, I just haven't had the energy or creative juices to write.  So, I've been gone for over a month.  

During that time there have been high points and definitely some low points.  I feel like I have been all over the emotional map - and in a completely unpredictable way.  I have just sat and read a whole bunch of my favorite blogs, as I have noticed that I haven't been making time to do that either.  I have a personal philosophy in this busy world 'put something good in every day' - what I mean by that is, read, do, participate, give or receive something that is good for my soul each day.  When I am tired, as I have been recently, this is especially true.  Ironically, this is not what I have done.  Instead, I have read the news (90%+ of which is depressing or awful), read trashy, gossipy columns on the internet or been too busy running around to take the time to give myself the gift of 'something good' and so I have suffered.  My well feels dry and I am not totally sure how to replenish it.  One thing is for sure, having read the blogs and been inspired by others' journeys, I feel some lightness and hope again.

Today, I feel compelled to write.  I am not sure what it is that I want to say, but I know that there is something inside of me wanting to come out.  It might be uncovered during this blog, or perhaps I will go and pick up one of my journals and write until I discover what is bothering me.  The funny thing is, I don't like writing 'negative' stuff in my beautiful journals - how ridiculous is that??  I know I am struggling right now, and once I distinguish what it is, I know I will release some of the stranglehold it has on me.  I also know, that when I am tired I have a propensity to suffer a lot longer than is helpful..some weird form of self torture, that is neither useful nor inspiring.

So, while I had grand plans to catch up on work, follow-up with networking contacts, plow through some of the items on my To Do list, I have done none of that.  My heart needs taking care of and right now that is the most important thing for me.  All the rest will come in time.

If your heart is needing some love and attention right now, take the time, I know from experience, it will be worth it.

Friday's Quote

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.

If you did what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something,

for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times

during those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,

because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,

because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes,

they will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tried and weary,

because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who

are also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,

and they can become your blessings.

~ Author Unknown

As we approach Thanksgiving here in the US, what else can you be thankful for?

eWomen Glow Event

I have just come back from the eWomen Glow Project in Campbell, CA and I feel inspired.

The speakers were funny, poignant and candid about their lives, their pasts, their failures, their hardships and their successes.

These are the things I took from the three speakers, Sandra Yancey, Barbara Rubin, and Marilyn Tam:

1.  Evaluate who in my life is serving my dream(s) and who is taking me away

2.  Create space in my life so that something new can show up.  If I am always so booked or busy, there is no room for the Universe to deliver something new

3.  Show up expecting success

4.  My fortune and future will be created by and with those I am yet to meet

5.  Lighting someone else's candle does not diminish my own light

6.  The Universe never gives us something early...nor for that matter does it give us something late, it is always right on time

7.  'Fine' is one of the most destructive words in the English language, because most often when we answer we are 'fine' we are anything but fine

8.  JUMP!

9.  Embrace money

Sandra spoke of the importance of having good girlfriends in her life that she can lean on, and I left today's event feeling all filled up - the same way I feel when I have spent time with my best girlfriends.  I didn't know more than 3-4 people at the event, but there was something about the energy in the room that has left me inspired.

Here's to the power and importance of having great girlfriends in our lives!

Sunset

My favorite time of day is sunset.  While I like sunrise, I am not a morning person, so I don't see them as frequently. 

I love how every sunset is unique - depending on where I am in the world, the weather conditions and the time of the year.  I particularly love when the sun's setting colors are reflected on buildings or clouds - as in the photo above (taken June 2005, Wellington, New Zealand) or the photo below (taken January 2008, Queenstown, New Zealand).

Sunsets are the one thing in nature that will really have me physically stop in my tracks and pause to admire them.  I will stop and smell roses while I am walking (or other nature things like that), but sunsets are different.  They make me smile and feel contented, no matter what kind of day I have had.  It's like nature's way of waving good bye for the day before darkness falls and a new day begins.

What is your favorite time of day, or your favorite natural beauty?

They just don't make them like this any longer

I was in an antiques store (known as The Collective) this past weekend, when I overheard a woman say to her husband  "they just don't make them like this any longer"  I hadn't intended to overhear their conversation, and I would never normally comment on something I overhear, but it so echoed my own sentiments that as I moved closer to where they were, I mentioned overhearing her and added how much I concurred with her sentiments.

Thankfully, there are still people around who appreciate fine craftsmanship - including antiques - and more importantly, there are still skilled craftspeople around to do it.  No matter how good a machine is at carving, nothing beats a piece of furniture that has been lovingly created by hand.  Don't get me wrong, mass-produced items have their place - and their price point - but I have a high-attention and appreciation for detail, and that, more often than not, does not come from mass production.  

Perhaps this is why when I go into an old house, I almost get giddy with excitement at the details that just are not used in more modern houses.  I love patina, and something that has history - even if I don't know the history.

A few years ago while we were in the Grand Canyon, my husband walked by the train station and notice the door handles.  He knew how much I would love them and called me over to have a look.  I sighed with utter contentment, and almost welled up with tears, when I saw the 'GC' carved into the knob and unusual shape of the plate - they just don't make them like this any longer...

Flop

Do you ever have a situation, that in your head was going to go well and be a success, but in reality was a flop?

I have, and, I did - this morning.  

I belong to a small networking group, which I really enjoy.  Each month one person does a more in-depth presentation about their business, which allows the rest of us to further understand what they do, what makes them unique, who their ideal clients are and how best to refer them.  It also allows us as a group to ask questions and give feedback on their presentation, their market/niche or their way of communicating what they do.  This morning I had volunteered to present my other company Rigore Rather than do a powerpoint presentation which is not my thing, (no offense to those that love them), I decided to do a quick exercise to show the interactive nature of our business and to give the others an opportunity to look at their businesses and see what is, and is not, working within them.

I was given 10 minutes to do the presentation, and as soon as I started, I knew it wasn't going to work.  I didn't have the time to really give the others the context for the exercise, I just jumped in, and they didn't respond with the gusto or opportunity (that I thought it clearly was!) At the end, there were a ton of questions, not so much about the exercise but about what Rigore actually does and where/how we could help a company.  Essentially it was a flop.

Not a total flop, as perhaps my inner critics would want me to believe, but a 90% flop.

Rather then dwell on this or remain as mortified and embarrassed as I feel (there is a part of me that would like to stick my head in the sand and that thinks 'these people must think I am an idiot!!') I am going to take this as a learning experience.

What did I learn from this?

1.  An exercise cannot be done in 10 minutes (it needs time to be set up, completed and debriefed adequately, or it is a waste of time)

2.  Run through either in reality or with a willing test subject, to weed out questions, problems or road blocks (because no matter how many times I have led an exercise, shortening any exercise does have substantial impacts on it's potential for success)

3.  I enjoy this group, so don't run and hide.  I do have something to offer. This is an opportunity to do better next time and others can learn from my mistake

4.  Some people just don't get what I do and I need to either do a better job of finding ways to explain it, or be willing to let go of those that really don't want to get it.  There are plenty more people out there in the world and those who have worked with us, do get it

5.  To have a ding in my pride hurts, but it isn't the end of the world

6.  Perhaps someone got a nugget of helpful information, that will lead to positive results for them

So, while I would have preferred to be a raging success today, I will humbly admit defeat and look forward to tomorrow with renewed passion and enthusiasm, because if there is one thing I am VERY clear about: I LOVE what I do, and I KNOW I provide value.

Friday's Quote

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face...  You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

You reap what you sow

Two of the 5 buckets of lemons that I picked this past weekend, waiting to be gently cleaned

There is a saying that goes...you reap what you sow...and yet sometimes I find, you reap what other people have sown and you have nurtured.  

Case in point, my lemon tree.  I didn't plant the tree, gosh, I am not even sure how long it has been on the property, perhaps since the house was built in 1947?  However, I now get to reap the benefits of having a tree that is fully grown and a prolific producer.  I do not believe though, that the prolific nature of this tree happens solely by accident.  I have no doubt it would produce some lemons if I didn't water it, or give it organic fertilizer, but I don't think it would produce so consistently throughout the year, nor anywhere closer to the amount of lemons.  As odd as it might sound, I feel a special bond with this tree.  I look out at it as I work from my home office each day.  I enjoy seeing the hummingbirds feed on it, the blossoms spring forth, the baby lemons form and change from green to yellow.  This tree gives me so much pleasure and I love it for that.  As such, I believe it showers me with lemons that are becoming a 'high demand' item with friends..in fact they are so loved, a friend sends boxes of my lemons to her father on the East Coast!

All this leads me to wonder about what else we get to reap that another has sown.  And I keep coming back to family generations.  The idea that my grandparents worked hard so that my parents, aunts and uncles could have a better life and in turn, my parents worked hard to ensure that my siblings and I had privileges that they didn't have.  In a strange way, I feel like I am reaping the benefits of both these past generations and the generations that came before them.  I also believe that the work I do, such as the work I did while I was on the board within my community will allow others to reap some rewards from the seeds of ideas that I planted, suggested or assisted in creating.  However, my inner critics grab hold of me and force me to ask myself the same question over and over again 'do I deserve to reap the benefits that others have sown?'  This is not an unfamiliar theme for me - do I deserve?  

I have to assume that my previous generations would implore me accept their gifts graciously and yet I feel guilty for doing so.  Many of them are no longer around so I can't ask them, but I think it would be worth my while to at the very least, to ask my parents.  That way, I could perhaps put this nagging feeling to rest and embrace all that I have, knowing others would want this for me and that I too will give things to future generations without ever needing to be 'repaid' or thanked.

In the meantime, I consider myself the guardian of my amazing lemon tree, and I will continue to love and care for it until we sell this house and a new guardian moves in.

A glass of wine

Last week I wrote about a good cup of coffee, and this week I wanted to take a moment to write about a sumptuous glass of wine.

While nothing may beat a good cup of coffee, there is something exciting and refreshing about an amazing glass of wine.  For me, the experience is often interlinked, and tremendously enhanced by, where I have the glass of wine and who I am with as we taste, sip, drink, throw back or throw out, the wine.

I have my favorite vineyards and tasting rooms - mostly in the Marlborough Region of New Zealand and the Napa Valley.  Both places hold wonderful memories and are very dear in my heart.  In Marlborough, Wither Hills is one of my favorite tasting rooms.  I enjoy their wine, however, it is their location and architecturally designed building that I LOVE.  As such, I make sure every time I am in Marlborough I take a drive to the Wither Hills property.

The photo above was taken by my dad on a trip when we were visiting family.  Wither Hills has a tower which guests can walk up with their glass of wine and look out over the valley - I love this view.

In October, while we had family visiting we went to Napa and had a couple of nice hours at both Mumm and Duckhorn.  Aside from the gorgeous weather, great champagne and wine, and tasting lessons from my sister-in-law (which was fantastic!), I loved the time spent with my family, the shared nature of tasting and the slowed down pace that comes with tasting wine.

I hadn't been to Duckhorn before, but I will certainly be going back.  The venue is stunning, gardens lovely and staff incredibly pleasant, friendly and accommodating.  It is simply one of the most relaxing places to sample wine - and their wines are fantastic to boot!

So, if you enjoy a glass of wine, be it at home after a long day, or at a dinner party with friends who make you laugh, take a moment to sit back and savor both the taste and the atmosphere that accompanies it, it is unique, precious, delicious and often, unforgettable.

Public Service

On my way to get a cup of coffee and fill the car with gas this morning, I happened to turn on XM Radio to the Oprah & Friends channel.  While I am not a huge fan of Rabbi Shmuley, once in a while he will talk about something that is of interest to me and this morning, in honor of Veterans Day, he was talking about Public Service and raising children to be of service to others.  The people who called into the show had me in tears.  They shared their stories of how they, and/or their families have served others.  The spectrum went from helping to prepare the food for Thanksgiving at shelters to a child who designed her own clothing line and then donated the money to the specials needs class at her school...it got me in the heart.

For several years my husband and I have talked about volunteering on Thanksgiving or Christmas - to give something to those who are less fortunate than we are.  Given he knows me well, he has wisely pointed out that while this is a great idea, it is likely to leave me in tears and and unwilling or unable to then turn around and celebrate the day myself.  I know he is right.  I couldn't go and volunteer in the morning with children who have no gifts and then come home and open my own gifts, it would just break my heart.  Instead, each year we have settled on donating money to the Second Harvest Food Bank.

As I drove I started to feel selfish and embarrassed at my lack of community service. 

And then I remembered, I had spent a year-and-a-half serving on the Board within my community and for years I always had at least one pro-bono coaching client.  Plus, years ago I spent a morning cleaning up a beach with a friend, which as strange as it may sound, was a lovely experience.  It was a gorgeous morning, the water lapped at the beach and as we picked up trash we caught up on each other's lives - I felt fantastic and like I had really done something positive for the planet.  Thank goodness, I thought, I do have a good heart and more importantly my actions are consistent with it - I do give back!

When I arrived home, I shared the stories I had heard on the radio with my hubbie and I choked up even trying to retell them.  We have agreed that we will look for some way to be of service next year in terms of our time, and we will continue the discussion as to how to contribute as this holiday season approaches.  

We all may have our own challenges in life, but there are those that are far less fortunate than us.  As we all move towards the holiday season, please give some thought as to how you could do, or give, a little extra, to make someone else's life a little more filled with cheer.  My experience has been that the way I feel about myself when I do it, far exceeds the gift I have given.

Thank you!

How much to share?

I was at a networking event last week, and the topic came up of how much personal information we should be sharing - be it on our blogs, our websites, Facebook etc - and I have to confess it is a question I have been, and continue to, struggle with.  

I love the blogs where people are very real and share what they are going through, their imperfections, their struggles and their inner voices that tell them they should be doing something other than what they are doing.  And yet, I have come to realize that I am perhaps a more private person than I thought.  On the Myers-Briggs scale, I am a big Extrovert, but on some other scale, I want to have my own private spaces.  Frankly, I would love to have a room where only I go into (and my hubbie sometimes too), but one that is not open for public viewing.  Where I can put my thoughts or works in progress, up on the walls and not fear someone looking at them and thinking I am weird or judging me.  I would equally love to have a very public side of me, where I am leading large groups of people through exercises that enrich their lives.

But the question raised, of how much to share, was an interesting one, and again, gave me pause for thought.  My advice for her was to share only as much as she really, truly, feels comfortable saying.  I am applying the same advice to myself.  Is there more I could share on this blog?  Absolutely!  Are there days when I feel like perhaps I have shared too much of myself?  You bet!

My guess is, at least a good portion of the concern comes from fear.  Fear that if we reveal too much someone could steal our identities.  Fear that people will think we are weird.  Fear that we could say too much and later be hurt with that information.  However, if there is one thing I am really clear about it is that I don't want to live in fear.  I may not be able to go back to the carefree innocence of childhood, but perhaps there is a middle ground that will allow me more freedom and less concern.

I'm off to go looking for that middle ground, I'll let you know what I find.

Friday's Quote

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

A good cup of coffee

A superb latte at Joe's Garage, Queenstown, New Zealand

There is nothing quite like a good cup of coffee.  

The aroma, the taste, the warmth and the comfort...ahhhh.....

There is something about it that I sink into.  It is a ritual for me.  

I only have one cup a day so I make sure it counts.  No drip coffee for me.  I am a latte girl through-and-through.  My hubbie keeps offering to buy me an espresso machine, but I keep declining.  I like going out to get it, whether to a mom-and-pop shop or a larger chain like Starbucks (I know, some of you pure coffee connoisseurs are now cringing, but at least at Starbucks I can order my coffee exactly as I want it made) I like the engagement with the baristas, and that first sip for the day...de-lic-ious!

No matter your drink of preference, here's a toast to something so good it makes us sigh with deep, satisfying, contentment!

Hopeful

As a US Resident, but a NZ Citizen, I don't have the right to vote here.  However, as the results come in I feel HOPEFUL.  Really HOPEFUL.  Which is something I can't say I have felt about the politics here in the US for some time.

Tonight, here's to a truly united United States of America.

I am filled with hope for a bright future for us, our children and our grandchildren.  And I hope that my hope is well-founded.

Apple

I am a HUGE Mac fan!  I have been, since I was a teenager.  (So much so, my husband recently bought me this t-shirt!) Of course, I have had a few jobs along the way that have seen me working on a PC, but at my core, I have always been loyal to Apple.

Luckily for me, when I met my husband, he worked at Apple HQ in Cupertino!  So we had lots of Apple products around - iPods, iBooks, MacBooks, MacBook Pros, iPhones and more.  It was like Apple HEAVEN!

Did I mention that I am such a loyal fan that now all my immediate family members have at least one Apple product?

While we were in New York in June this year, we went to the 5th Avenue Apple Store at about 1am.  It was like going to our own personal version of mecca.  Ahhhh....the beauty that IS Apple was represented in even the structure itself.

And few companies package their items as beautifully as Apple - even down to the last details in the box.

If you haven't bought an Apple product ever, or recently, treat yourself, the experience is like no other.

Long live Apple, it's products, it's high standards and mostly, it's beauty!

PS - Did I mention the Mac TV ads rock?!!!!

Quote for Friday

Excellence is...

~ caring more than others think wise,

~ risking more than others think safe,

~ dreaming more than others think is practical, and

~ expecting more than others think is possible.

~Author Unkown

Serendipity and the Now

As luck would have it, I was scheduled to be on a call today as part of the Time Experts Telesummit.  Dr Neil Fiore, author of The Now Habit, was the guest speaker and he spoke about procrastination and choosing to spend 15-30 minutes per day to advance something that we are committed to in our lives.  He called it the 'fear inoculation' and the sooner we are able to take a step towards what we fear, the sooner we will be able to overcome it.

The conversation itself was interesting, but given the week I have had, and my lack of any real advancement on my 3 tasks, I found it particularly applicable.  There is a familiar pattern in what has transpired this week and what transpires more weeks than I would care to think about, or want to admit. 

I certainly get things done, don't get me wrong.  I am not sitting watching daytime TV - far from it - rather the little, dare I say, more trivial To Do's get done first and then that bigger, more important and scarier ?? things get put off.

I hate to admit it, but this is my form of self-sabotage.  I am embarrassed to even be typing this and I have a strong desire to delete this last few lines, but it is the truth.  Oh how, I wish it wasn't!  Couldn't I pick another one, perhaps a more appealing version of self-sabotage?? 

Here's the thing, I know what my priorities are (according to Neil, we all do).  And, I KNOW how good I feel about myself when I do the right thing first.  I now need to focus on re-building that muscle so that it becomes a new (and rewarding) habit for me!

Neil's advice is to spend 15-30 minutes first thing in the morning before you shower or eat breakfast to advance one of your top priorities.  I am going to experiment with this next week, anyone keen to join me?

'Most important' - Day 3

The results are in, and they are not good.  I am now officially '0 for 3' on the task front.

Here is what I have learnt:

- 2 out of the 3 tasks should perhaps have been broken down into smaller tasks or steps as they each have required a variety of other pieces to be put into place before they could even be started, let alone completed

- it is possible that while my original 3 tasks were on target, I was wildly optimistic given I have spent time with my family (who was visiting from out-of-town) over the past few weeks and so I was behind on other things and needed to play catch-up this week, and,

- I will admit, that I am seeing an unpleasant and profoundly dissatisfying pattern here, which is... the important business stuff always gets put to the bottom of my list, unless it is pressing, or for someone else (and then I am great!)

Of course, I would rather not be admitting this to anyone, myself included.  I have faint stories like 'I am a coach, I should be better than this' and 'I shouldn't tell people I don't have my sh*t together...what will they think of me?!?' but like I said, these are faint.  Right now I am far more fascinated in what is going on, my process and figuring out how I want to be/live going forward from here.

This system clearly isn't working as it has me grumpy each night and frustrated with myself and my life.  I know this must be good news because once I get bored enough with anything, then I immediately do something about it.

I can feel a change for the better coming on...I can't wait to see what it reveals.

From a 'work in progress Catherine' here's to the next evolution!

Doing the right/most important thing first - Day 2

Well, I kept my promise last night, and after I posted my blog, I took a clean sheet of paper and wrote the 3 things I was going to focus on today.  

Let's just say I didn't even get through #1.  

The first problem I ran into was, I really needed to go to the grocery store so we would have food to eat.  While this activity wasn't on the list, and isn't part of growing, focussing or investing in my business, I could justify that having food was important and therefore 'enhanced' my life!  So, I went.  Sadly, it took longer than planned, particularly by the time I got home, unloaded the car and put everything away.  

Not to worry, I told myself, I had started task #1 (to update my Shaped Reality main website) last night by discovering that my old laptop which had my website on it had been wiped by my tech support (aka my hubbie) when he had upgraded it to the new Mac OS.  He had pulled out the CD with the applications I needed, and loaded them.  Then I did a software update (which took hours, but nonetheless was behind me), and he even found a copy he had made of my website and saved to a CD.  So as I sat down this morning, I figured put in the CD, load my website and I'll be ready to update...alas...no.  Turns out the CD had nothing on it.  Not to fear, with his help, I used Firefox FTP (read, super proud of myself to know how to do this!) to locate my website and copy the files from the web back to the laptop.  Ha!  Now I am ready to go!  But no...I wasn't.  

It turns out that iWeb, in which I had created my basic, but functional first website doesn't have an 'import' feature!!  Apple, seriously, this is a MAJOR flaw.  As one of your most loyal fans, this is a serious oversight on your part!  So the next couple of hours were spent reading about fixes on the web...and now at 6:20pm, I am once again going to have to ask hubbie for his help, or, resort to recreating the site from scratch.  Now, this wouldn't be such a bad thing, if only I had known this at 11am, I could have saved hours of messing around.

So, I haven't even looked at task #2 or #3 yet, with a bit of luck and dedication, I MIGHT get #3 done tonight, but #2 has no hope.

I am feeling a little defeated quite honestly.  However, I am not going to let that stop me.  Instead, I have rearranged my day tomorrow and I will focus on tasks #1 & #2 again and with some determination and focus, I am aiming at hitting a home run tomorrow!

Wish me luck!  Oh, and let's hope the technical gods are shining down on me and that my computer problems will not exist tomorrow!

Catherine

 

Doing the 'right' thing first

On Friday, my Solopreneur Group challenged me to spend this week focussing on 'what is most important.'  You see, like the quote I posted on Friday, I can get caught up in the To Do's of life and not get to the important stuff.  I would love to say that the To Do's are important too, and they are, but I would be kidding myself to say that they are 'more' important.

I seem to have a never-ending To Do list, to the point that some of my friends joke about it, and years ago, one challenged me, that 'for every 1 To Do item I added, I had to take 3 off.'  This was easy if I could find 3 to get quickly handled, or at a stretch I could delete a task (which used to be a rarity for me, but I am finding it easier to get on board with these days - particularly when I just KNOW that I am never going to get around to that item and changing the date every week or month doesn't help!)

So, did I do the most important or right thing first today?  No.  However, here is what I learnt from today....

1.  I didn't make an actual list this morning, rather I had it in my head and meandered through my lists, piles, emails and tasks

2.  Having not actually sat at my desk for any decent length of time in the last few weeks doesn't work for me.  I need chunks of time to just sit and plough through work and not get up, go out or get distracted in any way

3.  I need to create a better filtration system for myself (eg: who cares what other films the actress from the movie I watched last night has been in, it really doesn't enhance my life, but it does take my precious time to look it up!)

4.  What I also KNOW to be true about myself...I ALWAYS feel better about myself when I do the right things first!!

My commitment for tomorrow is as follows:

1.  As soon as I post this blog, make the list of the 3 most important and 'right' things to focus on tomorrow

2.  Ask myself the question 'does this activity enhance my life?' at several intervals tomorrow - specifically if I find myself doing anything other than the 3 above listed tasks

3.  Remember the 'right' perspective that I committed to for this week is 'growing, focussing and investing in my businesses'

4.  At the end of the day tomorrow, review my list and my achievements, and celebrate!

What is the right thing for you to do first tomorrow?

The absence of goals

In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it.

~ Robert Heinlein

Roller Coaster Riding

I LOVE roller coasters!

For those of you who know me, but don't know me well, this may come as a surprise - given I like to be 'in control' and on a roller coaster I am so not in control.  However, there is something appealing about letting go and trusting that I will arrive safely back at the end of the ride, perhaps with a few bumps or bruises, but mostly with an adrenalin high and a smile on my face.

While I love some of the newer rides like Tatsu at Magic Mountain I am a bigger fan of the old wooden roller coasters like The Giant Dipper at Santa Cruz's Beach Boardwalk.  I always walk off laughing, it has enough of an adrenalin rush without scaring the living daylights out of me.

This year while I was in New York, my cousin and I took a trip out to Coney Island and we rode the Cyclone.  It definitely wasn't my favorite ride of all time, but given it's legendary status, I thought it was a must.

Recently, I was having an interesting conversation about 'control' at a party (not brought up by me, but I certainly engaged in the topic once it was raised).  The theme was that control is an illusion and yet so many of us try to hold on to it, grasp it or perhaps even suffocate it.  I know that there have been times in my life when I have wanted control of myself, my life, my health, to the point of desperation, and while I tried to convince myself that I either had control, or was gaining some form of control, I am not sure that was really accurate.  However, control is not something I give up easily, unless, I am on a roller coaster, and then I am a willing participant.

I wonder if I gave up control willingly in other areas would I laugh and smile more?  Would I have more adrenalin just for life?  I think it is worth considering.

Where do you give up control?  Willingly or otherwise? 

What could you let go of?

In this world of information overload, what could you let go of permanently today? What catalogs do you receive but never look at? What emails do you delete without ever opening?

There is freedom in unsubscribing and not having to deal with the catalog or email ever again.

Believe me, this is a case where less, is more.

My invitation is to call one company or visit their website today and unsubscribe, take the two minutes so you won't have to spend time in the future.

It's worth it!

Remember the romance

Every once in a while, do something unexpectedly romantic for your someone special.  It will have benefits beyond measure.

Is it better to...?

For the last week I have had family visiting the Bay Area and while they haven't stayed with me the whole time, I have been trying to see them as much as I could.  As such, I haven't had the time to really write a decent blog post, at least, not by my standards, or original intentions.  

I have kept the promise to my self and a group of solopreneurs that I belong to, to blog each day, but it has been rather a rush.  So, as I find myself needing to run out the door in 5 minutes, I say to myself....is it better to not keep my promise and skip a day of blogging?  Or is it better to at least post a quote, photo or thought?

I think it is the latter.  And, in doing so, I remind myself that I, like life, am not always perfect and can't do everything to the fullest extent, sometimes, 'being done' counts for something.

What are your thoughts?

Forgiveness

I went to hear an amazing speaker last night on the topic of forgiveness. Dr Fred Luskin, is both entertaining and knowledgeable, but even more than that, he is realistic, about human beings and how we truly behave.  He was honest about the egotistical and self-centered nature, that we all have the ability to exhibit.  But perhaps what I was left with most, was that there may never be a time when we actually want to forgive someone for how they may have wronged us.  There is never a 'right' time, and often we hold onto the grudges for FAR longer than the scale of the event perhaps deserves.  The fact is, that our unwillingness to forgive hurts us FAR more than it ever hurts the other person.

While I might not feel like forgiving the people who have 'wronged' me, I am very clear that I have no desire to have my anger and bitterness impact me any longer.  Therefore, my commitment to you is to make a list of those who I need to forgive and start to work on that.  I have no doubt that some will be easier to forgive than others, and I know it is going to take a dose of generosity on my part, but I am up for the challenge.

How about you, are you ready to let some of those grievances go?

I hope so, because Fred assured us that it will come back to benefit us in spades, and I think it is worth giving it a go.

With compassion for us all,

Catherine

Favorite quote

This is one of my all time favorite quotes.  I think because it resonates so deeply within me and there have been times in my life where I have sought desperately to fulfill a dream where everything around me had moved on, and I was trying to complete the last 10%.  Of course, with hindsight, everything worked out as it was meant to and this particular piece always reminds me of that.  

Enjoy!

We plan our lives according to a dream that came to us in our childhood, and we find that life alters our plans.  And yet, at the end, from a rare height, we also see that our dream was our fate.  It's just that providence had other ideas as to how we would get there.  Destiny plans a different route, or turns the dream around, as if it were a riddle, and fulfills the dream in ways we couldn't have expected.

~ Ben Okri

Favorite places

Do you have favorite places that you like to revisit each time you return to your childhood home, or each time you return to a location you don't live anywhere near?  Somewhere where you will drive out of your way just to eat their food, drink their drinks or soak up the ambience?

I do. Many, in fact, but one of my all time favorites is what I affectionately refer to as The General Store.  

It isn't really a general store, but rather a cafe with a big, double-sided fireplace inside for when it is cold and foggy like this.

It is equally beautiful whether it is cold and foggy or hot and sunny.  

It is located on the east coast of New Zealand's south island, between Blenheim and Christchurch.  Whenever I am in Blenheim, I will make the hour plus drive each way, just to go and have coffee and sit in this place.  There is something so wild and untamed about it that I am just enthralled by.  Even if I am only able to stay for 30 minutes, I consider it well worth the trip and it's impact on me is one of serenity and true contentment.

I simply love this place!

Where do you just love to go?

Living

(I heard this quote on a radio show in the Bay Area in 2006, and it really resonated with me).

When you live in the past, you die in the present.

Where are you living?

Toodledo

After 5+ years of the same cell phone (I know, totally against the norm of upgrading every two years), I recently upgraded to a sexy, new iPhone, and I LOVE it!  In addition to it's many features, my husband recently discovered Toodledo in the App Store...and it rocks!  

Toodledo  is so much more than a To Do list!  As a list-making person in general, I was a fan of the Palm To Do list, but in my opinion, Toodledo, blows the Palm product out of the water.  Toodledo, has features like Folders (which are like categories that my To Do item might fall under), but then it also has Contexts (which could be considered as either, my mindset at the time, or my location).  So, (a very boring example, but you'll get the idea)...let's say I wanted to pick up a specific facial moisturizer while I am out it might look like this:

Task: Pick up facial moisturizer

Folder: Health & Beauty

Context: Out & About

So, next time I am out running errands, I can look under the Out & About Context and see what other tasks I might be able to do at the same time.

And, if that is not fabulous enough, I can enter the length of each task. If I have 10 minutes between calls and I am wondering what to do with the time, I can organize the Tasks by length and see all the options that might fit into the amount of time I have available.  

A super added bonus is that Toodledo is a Web 2.0 product and so it is updated live.  There are a number of other fantastic features, which I haven't mentioned here, but perhaps the best is that it is FREE.  You can upgrade for $14.95 for the year to the pro-subscription, which in my opinion is well worth it, AND, a tremendous bargain!

All-in-all, I am a HUGE fan of both the iPhone and Toodledo.  I can't wait to see what I can accomplish with this new tool!

I love technology!

Catherine

Enriching your soul

One of my absolute favorite places to be, in the entire world, is at the ocean.  Whether I am high up on a cliff looking down or standing on the beach with the sands between my toes, I am at my happiest.  My soul is enriched in ways that few other places have the same affect.  I am warmed down to the depths of my core, and it doesn't even have to be a sunny day.  In fact, I love the stormy weather along the Northern California coastline where I can witness mother nature as she pounds the waves into the cliffs below me.  I can watch for hours mesmerized by constant motion of the water.  I am in awe of how small I seem against the power of the water. Equally, I love to hear the horns blaring while I am shrouded in fog and can hear the water lapping quietly at the edge of the beach.  Yes, there is something about the ocean that has a magnetic pull on me, that when I honor leaves me feeling humble and fulfilled at the same time.

Where is your soul enriched?

Fondly,

Catherine

Photo: The Pacific Ocean from Santa Cruz beach, October 2006

What makes you come alive?

Don't ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive.  Then go do it.  What the world needs is people who come alive.

~ Howard Thurman

You Can Heal Your Life

Today I took the time to watch Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life movie.  You can watch it streaming on the web for $4.95 at www.youcanhealyourlifemovie.com This is not something I would typically do during the 'work' day and yet, it feels very much in alignment with what I do and so I choose to make time for it this week.

I am a huge believer in our ability to use our minds to heal our bodies, and likewise to allow our minds to poison our bodies, so I really respect Louise's work.  

I enjoyed the movie and it was refreshing to be reminded that I am not the only one who walks around with hundreds of comments, opinions or thoughts going on constantly in my head.  I intend to buy the DVD and watch it over and over again as I know I will pick up a little something different each time.  

Louise was a pioneer for her time, and thank goodness for people like her who trust their instincts - even when there may not have been 'evidence' around to support their ideas, she knew she was on to something and she stuck with it.

Are you a pioneer?  

If so, here's to living boldly in the world...

Catherine

Being Real Part II

After publishing my blog yesterday and walking away from my laptop, I started to think further about this 'being real' idea.  It turns out for the most part, I don't have a problem being real, truthful, straight up, and perhaps even at times... bordering on rude, (although I am embarrassed to admit that), to service people. I do have a much harder time being that way with friends or people I care about.  

I seem to be filled with inconsistencies. If a barista at Starbucks doesn't make my drink correctly, I will likely mention it and thankfully, they always offer to correct it.  If this occurred at a mom-and-pop coffee shop, I might be less likely to say something, but then I wouldn't go back again.  If I am really irked by something I will call or email the company to try and get the situation rectified. If I am in a hair salon and I hate what they are doing, I sit there likely a stunned mullet and keep my mouth shut, promising myself as I leave, to never return.  Only once have I ever called a salon back to say that I was unhappy and went back in the next day to have them fix the situation, but that was mainly because I was on my way to my brother's wedding and knew that the photos would capture my terrible hair dilemma forever.  

I do believe I have narrowed down my problem with telling the truth to hair stylists to this... I think of my hair as their 'work of art' and I don't like to criticize their work.  The obvious flaw in this explanation is that then I have to walk around with their art (that I don't like) on my head, until it grows out.  I have no doubt that this does them a disservice, as much as the mom-and-pop coffee shops with drinks I don't like, but I don't like to hurt peoples' feelings so I keep my mouth shut.

On the other hand, if I have to engage with the problem by phone (ie my mortgage company needs proof of flood insurance and they change their address and don't let me know, but make me send the fax a second time because of their error), I have no problem telling them I am not pleased. 

But whether by phone or in person, when it comes to friends I feel FAR more uncomfortable addressing issues, imbalances or upsets.  The irony of course is that friends are the ones that I most want to spend time with and therefore where I want to have the most truthful and honest relationships.  I want that for them, so I guess I have to assume that they want the same for, and from, me.

I am a strong believer in leading by example, so I guess that means it is time for me to step up to the plate and tell the truth - be very real - in all areas of life, whether it is in person or by phone, in Starbucks or a mom-and-pop coffee store, to the hair stylist and to my best friends.  Let's call it an experiment, after all, I do know how the other side feels, I wonder what it is like to be totally real?

I am willing to give it a try, how about you?

Catherine

Being Real

There is something very brave about being real.  

By being real I mean, telling the truth - the good, the bad, the messy, the unpleasant, the embarrassing and the downright ugly.  I value being real in others and admire them for it, but I am still building my own muscle for being real.  However, I am quite often (pleasantly) amazed by the outcomes of being real.

I had an incident with a dear friend recently, where I let a few things pile up and then they boiled over - at least for me.  I know I should have said something sooner.  (Not to make excuses, but rather by way of an explanation, I was the child of a diplomat and so I was raised to be polite over being honest or real.  Sometimes this is perhaps a good thing, it keeps the water smooth, but most other times this does a major disservice to me and those close to me).  

The thing that made this most recent incident so much easier to be with, was the fact that I knew I had a good foundation with this friend.  She has seen me at my best, experienced my generosity and she knows I have been, and would be again, there for her in a heartbeat.  I knew that this was a bump on the road of our relationship.  Amongst the interchange over email there was that familiar reminder that email doesn't always give context or tone and one can be misunderstood or misunderstand another more easily, than if the conversation was occurring live, real time.  

However, I needed time to be mad.  And she generously allowed me to have that.  This is a new thing for me.  In the past I would have blurted out my upset/hurt feelings then immediately felt bad or embarrassed and apologized profusely and stuffed my own feelings down inside me to deal with another day.  To be able to be mad and stew for a couple of days, even though stewing felt weird and almost indulgent, was a real gift.  By the time I had spent a few hours in my own thoughts, I was more present to our deep friendship and less keen to continue holding her at an arm's distance.

When we talked today she was so kind and willing to look at what had happened that had allowed us to go off track. I felt so respected and humbled by her, that I was able to lean even further into, and trust that the foundation of our friendship would be able to get past this bump.  We haven't yet reached a resolution, and I am not sure one is even needed, but we are both clear that my upset is an opportunity for us to look at our relationship and perhaps find a way to enhance it even further.

I know that even though these types of conversations are often really uncomfortable for me, they do bring me to a new, and better, level with those I treasure.  The conversations might take a couple of iterations but they are always worth it in the end.

So, where are you willing to be real?

Here's to muscle building,

Catherine

My photo expedition

As part of the process of setting up this blog, the fabulous Cassandra Rae (who helped me create it), had me do some pre-work which included looking at blogs I liked, and sharing what appealed to me about them.  One of the consistent themes was their photographs, and so she set me a homework assignment to go on a Photo Expedition.  Admittedly, I had ideas of driving to Santa Cruz and photography the beach, or going to Atherton and capturing beautiful homes and gardens, but those would have to wait for another day, as today I only had time to wander around my own back yard and photograph what I saw.  It was nice to get outside though - it reminds me of how much time I spend inside and how I really do enjoy the time I spend out in the garden.

These are four of my favorite photographs, they each give me a sense of amazement about nature, pride because I grew them and/or nurtured them and a reminder that small amounts of effort can lead to beautiful rewards.  Here is what I saw...

..I have three different colored bougainvillea, but this is by far my favorite color.  Most other people like the more orange version, but there is something about this red that just makes me come smile at it's boldness.

This is a lettuce I grew from a hydroponic one that I bought at the grocery store, ate and then saved the core (is that the right term??) I watered it and put it in the sun inside until it started to get new leaves and then I planted it outside, and so far the squirrels, snails and birds all seem to have stayed away from it, so I can pick a few leaves for dinner next week.
Last year, I decided to follow my Dad's tradition and I grew my own tomatoes.  I grew a big red variety and a cherry tomato variety.  This year when I went to the garden store, they didn't have the same varieties in stock so on the recommendation of one of their gardeners I went with two new kinds.  While I don't love the flavors as much as last year, my little cherry tomato plant has produced prolifically and it is still going, here are two little ones ready to be picked and eaten...
And last, but definitely not least, my amazing lemon tree.  I can't stay I planted this one, but I have nurtured it over the last three years and it has responded in kindness.  I have a following with these lemons, so much so, that a friend sends boxes of them to her father in Virginia!  Others juice and drink them every morning.  My husband and I have enjoyed them in drinks, on food, zested, sliced, squeezed and diced, but perhaps our favorite was our very own version of a lemon drop straight from the tree.  I consider myself a guardian of this tree until we sell this house and the next owners take over.  It gives me tremendous pleasure and I look out of my office window at it every day. Here's to you, your garden and that amazing thing called nature!  

Enjoy!

Catherine

What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?

I saw this quote 'What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?' by Dr Robert Schuller at the bottom of a colleague's email today and it made me sigh in that lovely, fulfilled, contented kind of way.  

Hmmm....what would I do if I could not fail? Finish and publish my book, go on a book tour across the US, New Zealand, Australia, the UK and Europe, be invited to be a keynote speaker, and consult with companies over a period of time to increase the passion and productivity levels of their teams.  Yes, that is what I would do, I am not even sure I would 'attempt' it, I think I would just do it.  

The problem is, I don't like to do what everyone else is doing (and in my world it feels like every third person is writing a book, and they can't all be good, can they?) I want my book to be good, really good. The thing that gets me though is I see books on topics I KNOW I could have written, but someone has already beaten me to it.  I guess that is where procrastination and self doubt will get me, huh?  And of course, there are always those inner critics that say, 'well, what if your book isn't any good and you spend a ton of time on it, when you SHOULD be doing something else' plus there is that never ending To Do list that needs addressing.  So somehow, I just never give myself permission to sit down and finish writing it.

Even as I say this, it feels yucky.  Particularly as I am a coach, I really want to lead by example and live my reality in a way that is shaped by me, but most importantly that my reality fills me up with that yummy, delicious and most divine feeling of honoring what is right for me.

Sounds like it's time to start writing...

Here's to taking one action today in alignment with KNOWING you won't fail!

Catherine

Recovering Perfectionist

OK, so my best intentions of writing this blog 5 days a week, have gone astray! 

I am not sure if it is the perfectionist in me that got confronted once I actually began and left me feeling like I had to write the 'right' thing...only darn, what is the right thing??  Or, if I got embarrassed about sharing myself out in the public domain, either way, this blog didn't happen.  The old me would have ridiculed myself until I wanted to hide in a hole, but the 'recovering' perfectionist in me says "oh well, that didn't go as planned, but I have the opportunity to honor my commitment from here on out" - and I'm choosing the latter.

Perhaps it is easier to choose the latter given very few people even know this blog exists at this juncture.  It is a point of embarrassment though, and perhaps will be in the future too, that nearly 3 weeks went by and I have written nothing.  It doesn't mean I have thought about writing and even constructed blogs in my head, but it doesn't count unless I actually sit down and put my fingers on the keyboard.  Still, I am sure I have done far worse, and embarrassed myself in far greater ways than not updating my blog!  

However, I do want to make a commitment to myself, and to whomever comes across this blog in the future, that I really do want to write something, no matter how long or short, 5 days a week.  This is for me and I can't be worried about what others (like you) might think of me.  I have to do this for me, this is part of the way that I am choosing to shape my reality.

Best,

Catherine

Welcome!

Hi,

Welcome to my blog. It's so nice to meet you! First, a little about me:

I was born in New Zealand and raised both there and in the U.S. I feel so fortunate because I grew up equally in both countries and have received the best of both cultures. Back in 1990, I made a conscious choice to move back to the U.S. and in 2003 I achieved that dream! My heart is simply here in the San Francisco Bay Area. When I fly in I feel this sense of home, like I'm coming back to myself. I also love living here because I feel like there are more opportunities and I am enamored by the American Dream. Quite honestly, I want a slice of it!

After arriving, I got married and went through the immigration process. I was blessed in that I was approved on the spot - something extremely rare. Soon after my husband and I bought a house together in Willow Glen. Some might say that I achieved the American Dream; however, I believe that it's much more than that. It's also about personal and professional success - making a positive impact on the world.

This brings me back to why I created this blog. My hope is that you will enjoy reading and my intention is to be real. So some posts might be sloppy, messy, and maybe even confusing. But, it is so important that I give all of me to you because I spent so much of my life only putting out the "put together" side of me. It was such a disservice to myself and others. No one saw the whole me. And it's in the real emotions, our raw humanity where we can truly connect.

Someone once told me, "It's the humanness in others that most gets to your heart. And yet, it's the humanness in yourself that you don't share."

So here's to sharing our hearts, our humanity, and our humor with one another.

Fondly,
Catherine