Conversations that matter

I have always struggled with small talk.  

I love big groups, and large parties, and will easily dance the night away.  But, once in a while, when I meet someone who to me, is unique, interesting or intriguing, I don't want to talk about superficial things.  I want to delve into what makes them tick. What are their dreams?  What is the best thing that has ever happened to them, and where do they struggle?  Of course, this is not appropriate party conversation.  Then again, I really don't care about the weather, or what celebrities are up to.  Sure, I'll engage in those conversations once in a while, but at my core, they aren't fulfilling.  Of course, I don't want every conversation I have to be deep and meaningful, I too have a playful side.  I just notice how I will go to 'appropriate party conversations' rather than what I would far rather talk about.

At some level, I admire people who are good at small talk.  It means, I guess, that they are rarely uncomfortable in new situations.  That being said, I am not uncomfortable in new situations, I love them.  However, sometimes I want to jump to the 'good stuff' before people have had a chance to get to know me.

I remember a friend telling me about how charismatic President Clinton is and how he makes everyone he meets feel special.  I like that idea.  I am not sure how to do it, and I certainly wouldn't want to come off as fake, but I certainly like the idea.  I think she said he takes a genuine interest in what people do.  I do too, but at times I feel at a loss as to the appropriate question to ask them to open them up and learn about them.

One thing if for sure, I am most interested in having conversations that really matter.  How about you?