Being Real Part II

After publishing my blog yesterday and walking away from my laptop, I started to think further about this 'being real' idea.  It turns out for the most part, I don't have a problem being real, truthful, straight up, and perhaps even at times... bordering on rude, (although I am embarrassed to admit that), to service people. I do have a much harder time being that way with friends or people I care about.  

I seem to be filled with inconsistencies. If a barista at Starbucks doesn't make my drink correctly, I will likely mention it and thankfully, they always offer to correct it.  If this occurred at a mom-and-pop coffee shop, I might be less likely to say something, but then I wouldn't go back again.  If I am really irked by something I will call or email the company to try and get the situation rectified. If I am in a hair salon and I hate what they are doing, I sit there likely a stunned mullet and keep my mouth shut, promising myself as I leave, to never return.  Only once have I ever called a salon back to say that I was unhappy and went back in the next day to have them fix the situation, but that was mainly because I was on my way to my brother's wedding and knew that the photos would capture my terrible hair dilemma forever.  

I do believe I have narrowed down my problem with telling the truth to hair stylists to this... I think of my hair as their 'work of art' and I don't like to criticize their work.  The obvious flaw in this explanation is that then I have to walk around with their art (that I don't like) on my head, until it grows out.  I have no doubt that this does them a disservice, as much as the mom-and-pop coffee shops with drinks I don't like, but I don't like to hurt peoples' feelings so I keep my mouth shut.

On the other hand, if I have to engage with the problem by phone (ie my mortgage company needs proof of flood insurance and they change their address and don't let me know, but make me send the fax a second time because of their error), I have no problem telling them I am not pleased. 

But whether by phone or in person, when it comes to friends I feel FAR more uncomfortable addressing issues, imbalances or upsets.  The irony of course is that friends are the ones that I most want to spend time with and therefore where I want to have the most truthful and honest relationships.  I want that for them, so I guess I have to assume that they want the same for, and from, me.

I am a strong believer in leading by example, so I guess that means it is time for me to step up to the plate and tell the truth - be very real - in all areas of life, whether it is in person or by phone, in Starbucks or a mom-and-pop coffee store, to the hair stylist and to my best friends.  Let's call it an experiment, after all, I do know how the other side feels, I wonder what it is like to be totally real?

I am willing to give it a try, how about you?

Catherine